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Victim
Characteristics
According to Paul Hegstrom, author of Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them
and Broken Children Grown-Up Pain, there are some common characteristics
that victims of domestic violence may display. Important to note, however, that
despite the fact that there are common characteristics that are often
descriptive of most victims, people are unique and their situations are unique.
Therefore, not all victims of domestic violence will reflect these
characteristics and some may exhibit behaviors, beliefs and/or attitudes not
listed below. The following are common characteristics of victims of domestic
violence according to Paul Hegstrom’s book, Angry Men and the Women Who Love
Them (2004).
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She has low self-esteem. She typically
underestimates her abilities to do anything. She doubts her competence and
underplays any successes. She usually is in constant doubt about her
management of her household responsibilities, and therefore, the man’s
constant criticism of her affects her judgment. She assumes the guilt for
the abuser’s behavior and believes he would change his behavior if she would
change hers. In truth, she has little or no control over his behavior.
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She believes the myths regarding abusive
relationships.
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She is a
traditionalist about the home; strongly believes in family unity and the
prescribed feminine gender role stereotype. She is willing to give up her
career, no matter how important it is to her. She will often grant the man
the exclusive right to determine how the family income is spent.
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She accepts
responsibility for the abuser’s actions. Saying such things as, “If only I
would have…If only I did not say or did not do….”
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She suffers
from guilt yet denies the terror and anger she feels. She is a keeper of the
peace. She attempts to control people and situations in the environment to
keep the abuser from losing his temper. She makes herself responsible for
creating a safe environment for everyone.
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She has severe
stress reactions with psycho physical complaints. Generally, abused women
are hard workers who live under constant fear and stress. She is able to
withstand enormous amounts of pain during abusive episodes, yet often
complains about minor ailments such as fatigue, backaches, headaches,
restlessness, inability to sleep, depression, anxiety, and suspiciousness.
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She may use sex as a means to emotionally
connect and establish intimacy.
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She believes that no one will be able to
resolve her predicament except herself.
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Many women
report that this is their first exposure to a violent man. Their fathers
were typically described as traditionalists who treated them like fragile
dolls, which led them to believe that they could not take care of themselves
and had to depend on a man.
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Abused women tend to be overly gullible
and trusting of others. |
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